This post will be unlike my typical articles in both style and conversation. Typically, I do my best to write for the reader—you! I try to keep in mind that tips and tricks are a part of my brand and the goal is to create actionable content that you can read to help better your life and mental well-being.
But today, I wanted to take a different approach.
I want to take a “mini” break and step back for a second to look at my own journey. Part of this is because I feel like I’m at a crossroads. Part of it is because I feel a little burnt out and unmotivated. And another part is due to my own indecision for how I want to move forward.
Perhaps as an act of clarifying my own direction or asking my readers for a bit of understanding regarding the forward path for my journey, I’m laying out the details of something that’s been on my mind for a while.
Disclaimer: All of the views and opinions in this post are solely my own and are not sponsored. This post may include affiliate links, meaning I earn a commission through links at no cost to you.
So, now that the intro is covered let’s start at the beginning.
Starting with a dream
In 2019, I bought a laptop. This is truly where the journey begins. I started crafting a poetry collection to be independently published, and in March, I launched my blog under the title: Blog to Being.
I think the sole choice behind that title was because I wanted to “become something.” And by something, I meant a writer. I was fresh out of high school and in the middle of my gap year, working a full-time job that I hated. My only dream was to write. That’s all I wanted. That’s all I still want.
My blog revolves around random topics and resembled more of a diary than anything. Unfortunately, it would take a little over a year to change directions and refocus my energy.
That April, I published my first book, The Lights are on but Nobody’s Home, a collection of poetry about love and loss.
It was a financial and marketing disaster. But I still loved it.
The story of going off to college and pursuing a degree in Creative Writing has been told before on my YouTube channel, on the blog, and my about page. So I won’t lament on that for too long.
Quitting my job
But here’s the thing: my dream was shoved to the back burner.
I worked at my retail job full-time while in school, and I put off my blog, books, everything.
No amount of words can describe how heartbroken and lost I felt during that year.
In January, during a school break, I picked up the blog again and planned to stay on top of it. I went through a complete rebrand and began busting out content because I knew that I could make it as a writer if I worked really hard.
The blog began to grow (very slowly), and I rediscovered my passion for writing.
In June, I left my job in retail.
Productivity
That summer, I began working on my blog more than ever. I started a YouTube channel and dove headfirst into the world of freelancing.
Honestly, it was a whirlwind of a summer. I struggled financially, but I also continued to grow as a writer. In fact, I wouldn’t be where I am now had I not made that leap.
I began investing time into reading productivity and personal development books and created similar content on YouTube. I can’t say that those videos ever really did well. In all honesty, it took months before my YouTube videos were actually decent to watch (in my opinion)! But the productivity content fared more poorly than my journaling content, and I couldn’t figure out why.
The issue with hustle culture
On the blog, things were (and still are) going very well. With blogging, there’s more freedom to talk about several topics without really dedicating yourself to one niche. Here on the blog, I can talk about personal growth, mindsets, learning strategies, holidays, journaling, etc.
But after a few months, I found myself struggling. I was working on two blog posts a week, two YouTube videos a week, and on top of it all, I was still freelancing. As a result, I felt a little overwhelmed with all of the work I was taking on.
All the while, I was posting these videos and blog posts about productivity and began to struggle with imposter syndrome as I felt I were being a hypocrite—advocating that people slow down when I was pushing on full steam ahead.
This is where the toxic mentality of hustle culture comes in.
I had NO CLUE how awful “hustle culture” and “grind culture” were. I kept looking for ways to boost my own productivity and share tips with my readers, but all the while, I was struggling.
For all my talk on toxic positivity, I didn’t even consider there was such a thing as toxic productivity!
Slowing down
So this is where I am now. I discovered that I need to slow down, and journaling has helped me to do that.
Of course, I’ll keep making productivity and personal development content because I adore those things. But I’ve come to realize that what I’ve really been needing is slow, steady, and safe progress in my life.
I want to promote that on my channels (YouTube and the blog). And that’s why I’m making this post.
I want to focus on mental wellness, meditation, journaling, and mindsets. I’ll still discuss ways to be productive because I really do value those topics, but I want to do it in a non-toxic, beneficial way.
YouTube is what really opened my eyes to this issue. I had been blogging about productivity for so long, but It wasn’t until I began working in a video format that I realized that it’s okay to step back sometimes.
Re-evaluating
Re-evaluation is crucial for me at this time. And I think the things I want to focus on have shifted slightly. Again, I plan to repurpose content between both platforms as a way to help out my audience. Still, just as I don’t want you all to fall victim to toxic positivity, I equally advise against toxic productivity.
I’ve written about simple living and slow living in the past, and those are topics I’d like to come back to.
Somehow, during the pandemic, I became far too involved in productivity that it ruined my mental wellness.
Moving forward, I would like to take a simplistic, wholesome approach that will encourage growth without suffocating me.
Entering the world of Journaling
Journaling and scrapbooking have taken great precedence in my life. I believe part of this is due to my love of writing.
I constantly write these days.
Between my freelance work, journaling, scrapbooking, my blog, and my WIP novel, there is so much writing involved in my day. I love it! I really do! But I’m also attempting to learn how to find a balance between my writing projects and the other aspects of my life.
Scrapbooking is one way I can be creative and artistic. Aside from that, I’m focusing on my physical health through food and exercise. I’m trying to read more, explore more, and find ways to slow down and be present.
I don’t have any advice on re-evaluation or balance at the moment, but these are also things I would like to discuss moving forward.
Really, this post was meant to update my readers (you) on what’s changing in my brand. They’re not big changes, but they are personal, and I believe transparency is vital to a healthy relationship between us.
If you like this post, check out some similar posts of mine below!
Feel free to leave a comment below and let me know if you have any questions.
You can also email me with questions or concerns you may have at info.amelia.wilson@gmail.com
My new book, Witch in the Water, is available on Amazon!
Also, check out my poetry book, The Lights are on but Nobody’s Home, available now on amazon for $6.99 in paperback form!
Disclaimer: All of the views and opinions in this post are solely my own and are not sponsored. This post includes affiliate links, meaning I earn a commission through links at no cost to you.
Thanks again